'Beverly Hills Brats'

"You'll shoot your eye out, you'll shoot your eye out!!"

That was the line that kept running through my head as I watched this week's Random Movie, Beverly Hills Brats. Is it because it stars Peter Billingsley, a.k.a. "Ralphie" from The Christmas Story, you ask(Billingsley is in full-on Ralphie mode, I should add - glasses and all)? Maybe. I mean, it's not as though that line was ever uttered by Martin Sheen, and he was in Beverly Hills Brats, too. He played Montgomery "Scooter" Miller's father. Paulie (Burt Young, also in Beverly Hills Brats) from the Rocky series never used that line, did he? I dunno. He might have. I only saw part of Rocky V. Ahh, perhaps it was Ramon Sheen, the oft-forgotten older brother of Charlie Sheen and son of Martin Sheen who played Scooter's brother, Sterling. Nah. Probably not.


Beverly Hills Brats (1989)
Dir: Jim Sotos
Screenplay: Terry Moore, Jerry Rivers and Linda Silverthorn
Exec Prod: Sir Rupert A. L. Perrin, MD












Ramon Sheen (a.k.a Ramón Estevez)

Summary:

Lot's of "why the hells" in this one. First, why the hell do we put the 80's on such a lofty pedestal? After watching this movie, an unbiased, yet playfully pugnacious space alien you might have living with your family at home would demand to know what all the fuss is about? Clothes? Ugly. Hair? Ugly. Cars? Ugly. Okay, some of the cars were awesome (I saw my old Honda Prelude in there!). And the computers were awesome, too - if you were a rich little brat from Beverly Hills, apparently. Scooter, our "star," has everyhing; a high-tech bedroom with computers that do his homework at the punch of a single key; daily hundred-dollar bills for lunch money; leather Gucci ballcaps and Vision Street Wear T-shirts. Everything, that is, but the love and attention of his family. Time to fake being kidnapped to get the folks at home to notice him! It's fool-proof!

Impressions:

I have to admit, when my super secret randomization process turned up this title, I was concerned. But all that worry seemed to melt away like butter on top of a bowling ball in the microwave after seeing the star-studded, well, star-kissed cast credits in the beginning of this film. I mean, it has Martin Sheen! And an awesome cameo by none other than Whoopi Goldberg, herself. And in 1989, that was HUGE. I mean, I don't understand what Martin Sheen was doing in this cheesy 80's comedy, but screw it. He was there. So was Burt Young as the hapless down-on-his-luck race track gambler turned house burglar, Clive, who gets detected by Scooter's home security system he has in his bedroom (where else?). Scooter then offers Clive the chance to kidnap him and keep the ransom money his dad, a filthy rich plastic surgeon who draws pictures of boobs at the dinner table instead of talking to his family, would surely pay. Dad also often visits patients at home to "adjust their breasts" because "breasts constantly need to be watched." That's okay, because mom cheats, too. But I guess that's the charm of this picture, if you could call it charm. It held nothing back in terms of cheese and one-liners. And that's what 80's movies were all about, right?

Check out the trailers here and here.